It's ok to admit it. In fact, it's better for everyone if you do. Having a newborn is really hard.
April 9, 2014
The past few weeks I've seen lots of new and experienced moms. And one thing is true no matter who you are, what kind of mother you are, how you were raised, what kind of birth you had, or what you eat for breakfast: having a newborn is like ridiculously hard.
The day after Ava was born, my midwife told me this little secret, and I now share it with everyone I know. It's ok to have negative thoughts. It's ok to think, "What the eff did I do to my life?" It's also ok to cry about it. All of these things are NORMAL. The newborn phase is temporary, but it is a shock to the system.
But why is no one willing to admit this? It doesn't make you a bad mom to complain about the lack of sleep, the crying, the complete overhaul to your lifestyle, or how tied down you are due to frequent feedings. In fact it HELPS other moms to hear this. Why? Because it makes them feel normal -- newsflash: they feel the exact same way, even if they won't admit it.
I remember getting so many text messages and emails from very kind, loving friends and family members that went something like this:
"You must be so in love!"
"It's just bliss, isn't it?"
"Enjoy every minute!"
But it felt like the opposite of bliss. I was not in love (yet). And I was certainly not enjoying every minute. So you immediately think there is something wrong with you. Luckily I had my close girlfriends to tell me the truth.
I guess I'm saying it's nice to get the sweet messages, but every new mom needs a dose of truth now and then to realize that all new moms feel stressed, unhappy at times, and are wondering what the heck is going on.
So do your girlfriends a favor and spread some truth. They will thank you for it.
(See above photo evidence of my best "faking it" face whilst trying to bounce my little nugget to sleep for the umpteenth time that night.)